and it hurt when i found out the news...
REAL BAD.
i thought maybe when i get home ill take a nap since i hadnt slept in over 24hrs and when i woke up i would feeel better.
NOPE!!
the feeling was only worst...
and i only felt more sick than i had when i had woken up at 4:30 in the morning.
the best word to describe how i felt was USELESS.
and no matter who text me, called me or talked to me...nothing that was being said was making me feel better. Nothing. I know im not the only one to go throught it...
but i took it to heart....deeep in there...
I know i worked hard to get what i wanted...no one can tell me i didnt....
it happened for a reason...but i wish i knew what the reason was.
I wanted it just as much or more as anyone else in that room who had to go through 6 hrs of torture!
for the last week ive been hiding behind smiles and saying "next time" ill get it..
but im been going crazy thinking about it.....
and one thought has lead to another...and another and yes another.
Im 20 yrs old blah blah blah i still have my life to live blah blah blah...
but other than giving it a second try my focus is everything in life now...not just whats coming up....
i need to take it to another level i just dont know how...im working on it and its really hard.
im just taking every breath by breath, and literallt hoping that every step i take is down the right road.....
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